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by jessmarie12
Summary: Lily Michell was forced to leave her life in California to live with her cousin, Sam. But once in LaPush she finds out some weird things about her family and she is even more surprised to find out that she is not that different.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Summer Plans

"Class! I know that the school year is winding down, but you still have finals; which you will not be able to pass with out this review! " Mr. Hartley yelled as the seniors of his European History class as they began to get off-task talking about their plans once they no longer had to waste seven hours a day in Redwood high, learning things they will forget the second the diploma is in their hand anyway.

"Three whole weeks sailing the Greek islands on my uncle's boat is going to be just the beginning of my kick-ass summer," Shannon squealed as we tried to put the rulers of Great Britain in order from the year 1545 to 1890.

"What's got you so jazzed about sailing with your _uncle_?" Jenna asked as she leaned over the table we had made with our desks to grab _King Henry VIII_.

"I'll admit, spending the first part of my summer with my pot-bellied uncle, who drinks beer with his toast in the morning, was not exactly what I had in mind, but then I thought _Greece_. Greece is filled tons fascinating history and culture."

"And tons of hot European boys!" I added just as the bell rang.

"Please finish the study guide! Finals are on Thursday!" Mr. Hartley said, sounding strained and angry at the same time. He claims he's only like that at the end of the year because of all the ciaos of finals and senior graduation, but he almost always sounds _strained and angry_. I think there is a good chance that he hates kids and is only in the teaching business for access to a refrigerator and a communal coffee pot.

"Guys! We only have three more days of walking through these halls as students!" Shannon reminisced.

"Remind me why that's a bad thing?" Jenna said while twirling the lock on her locker.

"Because in two days we aren't going to be kids anymore. We will be like…. adults!"

Jenna and I both laughed at Shannon's comment. "Come on genius, we are going to be late for practice," I said as I tossed a pom pom at her head, "I can't miss my last time as captain!"

"Whatever," she retorted, "What are you doing for your first summer of adulthood anyway, Lil?"

"Oh you know, just hanging out."

"With Jason?" Jenna giggled and Shannon joined in.

"No!" I said, throwing my other pom pom at _her_ head this time. "Well maybe… I don't really know. He hasn't been talking to me much lately."

Jason is my boyfriend of two years. He is also the quarterback of the football team. How clichéd is my life? The captain of the cheerleading squad dating the star jock. But I was okay with that 'girl next door' stereotype because I really like him, and I think I might even love him… Ugh, I can't believe I just thought that! I mean I'm eighteen! I can't be in love, can I?

"Don't worry Lily, he is a great guy and I know things are going to work out for you two," Jenna comforted me.

"How can they? My boyfriend is leaving in two months to go to school half way across the country and I'm staying right here!" I had no plans to go to college. School had never really been my thing, unlike my mother. We have always been very different. It wasn't an issue before… _No, I can't let myself think about that, about him_.

Now my mother and I fight daily and the most resent topic of these arguments had been my education following high school.

She had left all her family in La Push, Washington to come to California to attend Stanford University. That is where she met my dad. They had known each other for about two minutes before they got married and another five before I came along.

Now my mom works all day, and at night she spends her time yelling at me about all types of things. I only have myself to blame for that though; it was my fault, I caused her to be like this. I guess I can thank her for my back bone though. These discussions, if you can even call them that, have taught me how to stand up for my self. For a long time I felt bad yelling back because I know how much it hurt my dad when my mother and I argued, we have been through so much already.

My dad has always been a very gentle soul. I don't really know how he fell for my mom, but, after eighteen years of marriage, they still dance in the kitchen after I go upstairs for bed, well they used to, before.

After practice was over, I began to head for my car. I guess you can't really call it a practice; it was more like a sob fest. All the seniors were making speeches and saying goodbye and I, as captain, announced the girl that would be taking my place next year.

"Bye Lily! We're going to miss you next year!" Monica, a junior on the squad, called to me from across the lot.

"Bye!" I called back. "I'm going to miss you too!" And I really was. I wasn't sure what I planned to do once high school was over. I really wished I didn't have to leave. It was so much easier to pretend I was normal here.

I got in my car and pulled out of the parking lot. On my way home I began thinking about what I should do when my summer ended. I really had no idea. I had Jason to think about, and my parents. I knew my mom wouldn't be happy with any other decision I could make besides a major in English lit and a dorm room to leave me at. And I had no idea what was going on with Jason. I don't think he felt the same way about me that I did about him.

It wasn't until I was parked in my drive way that I noticed Jason's car sitting on the curb. He was leaning against the hood of his truck.

_Oh boy, here it comes_, I thought. I knew that whatever he was going to say wasn't going to be good.

"Hey!" I said as I closed my door.

"Hey," he looked down at the pom poms that I held in my right hand. "Did you have practice today? The season is over, what are you practicing for?" he asked skeptically.

"We're girls; we need to say goodbye!" I laughed.

"Oh," he paused for a moment, "Can we talk?"

"What about?" I said knowing exactly what he wanted to talk about.

He took a deep breath, "Ok so here's the thing, I really love spending time with you, but when I leave I don't really know how we are going to work anymore. So I was thinking that maybe it would be best if we didn't drag this on any longer. I mean why spend our summers in a relationship that isn't going anywhere, right?"

I thought I was ready for what he was going to say, but I was completely wrong. I mean who is ever ready to get their heart broken? "Oh, yeah I guess you're right," I managed to choke out.

"I'm really sorry," he said as he looked down at the grass below his feet.

"No, no. It better this way," I lied.

"So I'll see you around." He leaned down to hug me.

I automatically wrapped my arms around him, trying to hold him there. He broke my grip as I said, "Okay."

He walked around his car and opened the door. He paused before he got in, "Bye, Lily."

"Bye, Jason." I stood there watching his car pull away from my house, and then down the street and around the corner. When it started to get dark out I decided I should probably go inside. I knew that this was coming, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

I walked inside and went strait up to my room. I didn't really want to deal with my parents.

I didn't want to sulk so I tried to distract my self. I pulled out my textbook to study, god knows I needed to.

"Lillian Elizabeth Mitchell!"

My head shot up. I looked down to see my history book with a little bit of drool on it. I must have fallen asleep. It took me a minute to realize what exactly it was that had woken me up. My mom had yelled my name, and she sounded mad.

I stood up and walked down stairs. I found my mom clutching a piece of paper so hard that her knuckles were beginning to turn white.

"What is this?" She held the paper out to me. I took it from her and looked at the insignia that was on the top.

_Crap!_ I thought. It was a letter from Washington State. I had completely forgotten that I had told my mom that I had enrolled there. I continued to read the letter.

_Dear Miss Mitchell,_

_We are sorry to hear that you have decided to withdraw from the incoming freshman class attending Washington State University this fall._

I didn't have to read any further to know what had upset my mom. I stood there, having nothing to say.

"Well?" My mom shot the word at me like a bullet.

"Well what? I don't have anything to say."

"How about, 'I'm sorry Mom. This must be a mistake because I do plan to attend Washington State in the fall.'"

"I'm not going to lie to you, Mom." Honesty was worth a shot.

"Then change the truth, Lily!" She yelled at me, "You are going to go to college! That is the truth!"

"I'm not going to do that!" I yelled back.

"I'm not letting you throw your life away too!" I winced when she said that, knowing that she meant it very literally. She paused for a minute, noticing my reaction, "Just go to your room."

I walked up to my room and closed the door. Now I was free to break down. My mother's words rang in my ears. _"I'm not letting you throw your life away too!"_ I had already ruined someone else's life.

About an hour later, there was a knock on my door.

"What?" I said into the pillow that I held to my face, not making any move for the knob.

"Lily, we need to talk and would be easier if we didn't have to do it through the door," My dad's voice came from the other side.

I stood up and went to open the door. I stood there staring at my father while he stared back.

"Ok, so your mother and I have been talking," he finally broke the silence, "And we have come to the conclusion that if you aren't going to go to WSU then we are sending you to live with your cousin Sam in La Push."

"What?" Was all I could manage to say.

"Lil, this could be a really great experience for you. Get away from your past here. Plus you used to love it up there when you were a little girl."

"Dad, things are different now. I'm different now."

"You are still you. And besides, it was either move to La Push or join the National Guard. Your mother was pulling for the second one," he chuckled, trying to lighten my mood.

"Yeah. Maybe I would go and never come back."

"Oh come on. You know your mother loves you," he said, rubbing my shoulder.

"I'm not so sure anymore. After last year…" I trailed off.

My father didn't respond, probably because there was nothing to say. He just kissed my forehead and said, "You leave on Tuesday."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey to all of my 2 readers… if I even have that many. Sorry about the lateness of this chapter. School eats away my life. I know, lame excuse but it's true.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the awesomeness that is Twilight. But wouldn't it be cool if I did?**

Chapter 2: New World

"We will be landing in Seattle shortly. The current local time is 5:30PM." The pilot's voice came on over the loud speaker.

I sat in my seat with my eyes closed. I was thinking about what I had just left behind; my friends, my family- well what was left of it, my life. In some ways it was better though. I was also leaving my past, which wasn't something I was proud of, but that only made this so much more bearable.

The plane landed on the runway. I looked out the window, _great, rain._ That was the one thing that I remembered most about Washington; it rained and then it rained some more. The seatbelt sign turned off as we were pulling up to the gate.

"Is that her? Lily?" I looked up to see my cousin Sam and his wife, Emily, standing side by side at the entrance to the gate. It was Emily who had spoken.

"Hey," I said awkwardly as they walked forward to greet me.

"It's been a long time," Sam said as he bent down to wrap his arm around me. _Damn! He got tall!_ "You've grown."

"Yeah, looks like I'm not the only one," I muttered under my breath.

"Sam, give the girl some space," Emily said as she hit Sam's arm. "Hi, I'm Emily. You probably don't remember me; we met once when you were younger."

"No of course I remember. It's good to see you," I said as she leaned over to hug me as well. It would have been difficult to forget a face like that. Emily has a scar running from the corner of her right eye all the way down her neck; left from a bear attack.

The car ride back to La Push was very quiet. There was only the sound of the windshield wipers clearing off the rain.

"You should probably be warned of what you're about to walk into," Emily said as we pulled into their drive way, breaking the awkward silence. I turned and looked at her with a confused expression. She continued, "A lot of Sam's friends like to hang out at our house."

I nodded my head as I said, "Thanks." Great, just what I needed. A ton of guys I don't know in the little house that I would now call my home. It was a_ very_ tiny house. The out side was painted a sunny yellow with white shutters. It looked like such a cheery place, but I'm sure I could change that.

I stepped out of Sam's truck and Emily led me to the house. Same followed with my suit case.

"Cavemen would definitely win!"

"Astronauts have space ships!"

There was a lot of yelling followed by a loud crash as we walked in the door.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Sam shouted.

"Good you're here! Ok so if astronauts and cavemen got in a fight who would win?" a large guy asked Sam from the counter that he was sitting on.

"What the hell kind of question is that?" Sam asked back.

"Well we were gonna to watch a movie, but we didn't know what movie to watch," another large guy answered Sam's question. _Jeez! They were everywhere!_ There must have been at least ten of them and they were all enormous!

"So I suggested Apollo 13," another one said from the kitchen table.

"Then I said astronauts were stupid and that we should watch 10,000 B.C.," the one from the counter added.

"Astronauts are not stupid!" the one from the table shot back.

"They have been at this since you guys left for the air port," a girl said as she walked into the kitchen. Another girl followed her.

"Can you guys shut up for two minutes?" Emily asked in an irritated tone, "We want you to meet someone."

"This is my cousin, Lily. Lily, this is Embry, Quil, Collin, Brady, Paul, and Jared," Sam said pointing to the multiple large men who cluttered the tiny room.

"Thanks, Sam!" The girl who had spoken earlier said throwing her hands up in the air.

"Ugh, Lily, that's Leah." Sam rolled his eyes.

"And I'm Kim," the other girl added. "It's nice to meet you."

"Hi," I muttered. I'm sure I didn't sound very friendly, but I didn't care.

A little girl ran into the room screaming, "Quil! I'm hungry!" _Great, there were kids too._

The man who she ran to scooped her up in his arms. "Ok Claire-bear. What do you want?"

"Cookies!" she yelled clapping her hands.

"Not this close to dinner. What time is it?" he said glancing at the clock above the stove. "Oh! I got to get you home." He stood up and threw the little girl over his shoulder. "See you guys later. It was nice meeting you, Lily," he said as he walked to the front door. I nodded at him…. What was his name? Quil?

It only took another minute until the guys were back to their heated discussion about cavemen and astronauts.

Sam rolled his eyes again and picked up my suitcase. "Come on, Lily. I'll show you to your room." I followed him through the tiny house and up the stairs. "Well, here it is," he said, opening the door to yet another tiny room. The walls were a mint green and there was a quilt on the bed that looked like it could have belonged to my great, great grandmother's grandmother. "There are towels on the bed and the bathroom is across the hall."

I stepped into the room. "Thanks."

"So I guess that's it for now. Unless you want to talk or something. I mean, I know I'm probably not at the top of your list of best friends, but I'm here if you want. I know you're probably not very happy with your parents right now, especially your mother, but they really do just want the best for you. And maybe this isn't what _is _best for you, but I'm sure that there is something that Emily or I or any of the guys, if you can get them to be serious for a minute, can help with. We are just one very big extended family that you are welcome to be a part of."

I just stood there well he rambled on about family and my parents and me. I really didn't want to be a part of his family and definitely didn't want to talk about my feelings with him or any of _the_ _guys._

"I'm ok, but thanks." I didn't want to be rude.

"Ok, well let me know," he said right before he walked out of the room closing the door behind him.

I had been in some kind of haze since I had stepped of that plane earlier. I know that I didn't want to be here, but other than that my emotions had pretty much stayed hidden under the surface. The quiet of the unfamiliar room seemed to pull them up to show their ugly faces. I sunk to the floor, putting my head between my knees, as the emotions surged through my body; sadness, hate, loneliness, and finally anger. That last one was the most potent. I was angry about everything and with everyone. The anger raged from my finger tips to my toes. I couldn't get it to go away; no, I didn't want it to go away. I wanted to be angry. I didn't want to accept what was happening. Enough has happened to me already, well enough had happened because of me, but I was still dealing with the guilt; wasn't that enough?

**A/N: So did you like it? Review! And tell me if you think it is weird or you don't like it. I like constructive criticism! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey guys. So I know I haven't updated this story in a really long time, but that's mostly because it sucks…. So I started a new story called **_**Letters for Teddy.**_** It has mostly the same story with a few minor changes and better writing. Oh, and the main character is now Jane Griffin.**

**So check it out please! I promise that if you like this story, you will like **_**Letters for Teddy**_** 800 times more! And if you don't like this story, then please give my new one a chance. I promise it is much better! **

**Thanks!**

**~Jess~ **


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